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  • Writer's pictureDuWaup


Updated: Dec 29, 2017

The “memory” of my husband proposing to me came up on Facebook today. I found it ironic because the first thing I saw when I logged on to Facebook was someone posing the question "Does the size of the engagement ring matter?". Then as I scrolled further I realized it was the trending topic of the day on my feed.

Some say “size matters” because the ring is to be a symbol of the love the man has for his woman, while others are convinced the ring is just a material thing that doesn’t matter at all. I understand both sides of the conversations I see happening on social media. I have a beautiful ring that my husband paid on for over a year before he was able pay it off and propose. He took the time to get the exact ring he wanted because it’s the ring HE wanted for me and the symbol of his love for me that he wanted the world to see.

He began paying on the ring some time in 2008, after we had been in a relationship for just over a year. The ring is an awesome symbol of his love for me, but the dedication, determination and sacrifice he made to ensure his love shown bright is worth way more than the ring itself. I know that before he picked the ring out and began paying on it, he knew he wanted me to be his wife and I most certainly wanted him to be my husband. But, because of the time it took for him to pay off the ring, the proposal came over a year after he decided he wanted to marry me. Here’s the thing, I would have said “yes” no matter the size of the ring or the wedding. Matter of fact, there didn’t have to be a traditional engagement ring or wedding at all. A gold band and justice of the peace would have done me fine. However, just as he wanted me to have the best he could give in a ring, he also wanted me to have the best he could give in a wedding.

Though he proposed December 24, 2009, we needed time for planning a wedding which cost us another year and a half. So the monetary cost of the ring and the wedding cost us time. Instead of marrying at the time we knew we wanted to marry each other in 2008, we didn’t get married until July 3, 2011, some three years later. My purpose for pointing this out is not to say that I regret the time it took for us to get married, but to point out that fact that when two people are totally in love and dedicated to each other and know they want to spend the rest of their lives together, it really doesn’t matter the size of the engagement ring or the wedding or if there is a ring or wedding at all. You can buy or upgrade a ring or even a wedding for that matter, but you can't buy time.

Now, what I will say is life has a way of throwing curve balls at you and there was a time when we got hit hard financially. We hadn’t intended on getting pregnant (only because we didn’t think it was possible - but that’s a totally different story) but in 2013, we did. 2013 was my daughter’s senior year in high school and by the time the baby came, she was headed off to college. We weren’t by any means financially prepared for these two very costly things to happen at the same time, which is having a newborn baby and a college student. We had to make some real sacrifices. We downsized as much as we possibly could and even then we still struggled financially. I remember a day when I went to reach for a roll of paper towels and there was none. I then went to grab a roll of toilet paper and it was the last. Groceries were low and there were several things we were in need of. I looked at my husband and said “Well, we’re officially out of everything”. We didn’t have the money to run out and pick up whatever we needed, but we both just looked at each other a laughed like, “damn”. I then said to him “when you’re down to your last and you can still laugh without pointing fingers, you know love is real”. He agreed and we giggled some more about it.

Again, it was a very financially trying time for us, but the glue that held us together wasn't the big beautiful ring or the wedding, it was the genuine love and dedication we had for each other and the willingness to sacrifice that got us through, no matter how financially trying times got. And it will be the glue that holds us together no matter how trying times will get.

So I guess what I'm trying to say is LIFE is the real test or testament to the love. Trust, dedication and sacrifice is the ultimate symbol of that love. Rings and material things are often lost, but the love will last forever. It's the size of the thought and the sacrifice that really matters.

This is simply my opinion. Leave a comment and let me know your thoughts. Let's discuss.

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Dec 29, 2017

I love how you broke this all the way down and put it in perspective. Unfortunately our society today wouldn't see it like that. But you shed light on a whole lot. Tell your husband thank you too!!!


Ra'Nesha Wilson
Ra'Nesha Wilson
Dec 28, 2017

Baby folks need to focus on maintaining their marriage and building out the relationship not the ring size. I don't need a $4000 ring and we don't own a house or car, no savings account, bill stacked.... lol I'm just saying

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